The Tug!

So since we have been married, We have wanted a King Size Bed. However. We made due with the Bed that I had had since I graduated high school! Don't get me wrong. I LOVED IT! it was sooooo nice. Lots of space to put things and super cute set! Now 5 1/2 years later, I got this wild idea. LET'S SALE THE BEDROOM SET!!!! Yes Corey was hesitant at first, But all he had to do was say, "It would be nice to have a king size bed " Which he did, After that the rest was history. I will say, a part of me felt a little selfish for doing it, mainly because we are blessed to have what we have. Those of you that know me, Know how bad I want one day to get out of the trailer phase and buy/build a house! I want Corey and I to make those choices as a married couple and get to choose a few things to update on our own or full blown decisions on building a house! Yes, I will admit, Its been on my mind for a While. But, In all of this, Its like God Brought me back to him through so much hear lately.

It all began about a Month ago, When I was upset about something. What? I really can't even remember, That should tell you how important it was. Ha! Anyways, at that moment, I just felt so selfish because I found my self upset because this 'Thing' that upset me so much was going to put us off from having a House anytime soon! I was not happy. After sitting there folding Laundry and crying out of selfishness, I stopped and got on Facebook. Silly right? well, after doing so, as soon as I pulled it up, right there on my home page was a link to my husbands, cousins blog, Then There were Three. She had a post 'Are you fit for a Manure Pile?' In the post, she blogged about Giving things up to follow the Lord, as I read about it, I just felt So Guilty. All I had been doing was Begging, Yet in my words 'Praying' for a house! How selfish. So at that moment, I told the Lord. "Lord, I'm done with the house thing, If you want us to have a house, you know we will accept, but if you don't, I'm fine with that". Well I went on and decided to not ask again for a house! and to this day I haven't.

Now, here Is where the Lord really started waking me up. When we say we are going to stop/start something, It's one thing to say it, It's another to do it. In my mind when I said I'll stop asking, I was thinking, I'll just spend more time with God, When in turn, I just stopped asking God for a house, but didn't really spend more time with him! Then the Tug came in to play. Those of you who are Christians and really live for the Lord, You know when you feel the Tug. The tug of , 'Maybe I should not be doing this', or, 'I feel as though Jesus is placing these things in my path to Pray for'. Well, In my case, It was to Pray for someone.

You all know I have been posting about Ty. The sweet boy who has recently been diagnosed with Neuroblastoma ( I think that's how you spell it ), I keep up with his blog often for updates and pictures to see how he is doing and so on, He is absolutely adorable. The doctors found a Large tumor surrounding several organs in his little body and then found the Cancer. His test came back good showing Intermediate Risk Meaning, Not High Risk. Well after praising God and praying so hard and thanking him for the good report, In the matter of a day,The test came back showing the Cancer had spread into his arms and legs and was at a stage 4 and High Risk. That's a moment for a christian or anyone to be taken back and say, God, I just prayed he would be Healed and you had good reports. But if we are smart, We know that God did not promise Good Health. That is when the praying really set in. I began to Pray, Pray and Cry and Cry some more and Pray some more. Why is it I feel so attached to this little boy that I don't even know? I still have not fully been able to answer that. This sweet life has now already had his first Round of Chemo and by his parents updates, He pulled through Great! He's such a trooper. I found myself thinking about him everyday and crying off and on all day for him and his family, I have laid in bed and cried and drove around in my car praying and Thanking God for the Health of my children. While I was driving around, Its like it hit me, I began to apologize and ask for forgiveness to Jesus for my selfishness of asking about a house, Even though I had told him a month or so before, I was done, I was not truly done in my heart!

So as I'm driving around, Crying and Praying, The Lord begins to show me that in all my selfishness. I have a Home, I have two Healthy beautiful Children and a Wonderful Husband, When all Ty's family wants is for their baby boy to be Healed, So that they can bring him home and play. Let him run around without any restrictions holding him back, I suddenly was a awaken and began to tell the Lord how Sorry I was for ever being so self centred and that I did not care one thing about a house anymore, I knew in my Heart I wanted a Miracle for this family and this little guy! I wanted him to be perfectly fine. I began to grow even more of a love for this child that I have never met before. Its like once I reached that point, The Lord knew I was truly Humbled.

So in all of this, I still continue to pray for this little man, His Health, His little body, his true, healing, the doctors telling Ty's family that Ty is Cancer Free and there is no sign of cancer or a tumor anywhere in his sweet body. More then anything, for the Dr's and Nurses to Claim the Victory and say that The Lord healed Ty. To know that his condition could make a Dr or Nurse say that is just amazing, Not only them, But all the followers of Ty's Blog or their Fan Page on Facebook. To know that his story reached so many people and will forever. I truly believe that God set this little mans story in front of me to 'Tug' at my heart and say, Here, Pray for this family and this little boy. In doing it all, he woke me up and showed me how blessed I really am, and material things DO NOT MATTER!!!!.

Now, While all of this has been going on, We did post our bedroom set for sale, and it was not selling, I had began to pray and tell God, I'm done with the House thing, I have a Love in my heart for this little boy and his condition right now. I had also prayed, that We wanted the Lords will, for Ty and our own lives. In doing that, I also prayed about the bedroom set. Silly I know, But I look at it as, God knows where we will be in the next 6 months, Year or even 10 years. He knows if we needed to sale that or not. After a month of having it listed, and thinking Okay, lord, I guess you don't want us to sale it, we got a Bite. haha, A lady messaged me and said she was Building a House and wanted to buy it. Of course we were so excited, Now we can sale it and get that King size bed.

I know this all seems silly, But the way I have put this all together is that, When we decide to give up our own needs, put others first and focus on prayer for a special little boy, or whoever it may be. Others that are in more need then ourselves. It seems as though, God honors that. The fact that In our hearts we are humbled and truly know that others come first, Not ourselves. When we actually get that, and begin to Pray for everyone else other then ourselves, All the sudden little things start to happen. God puts a blessing in your life here and there. Ours, a New bed. A Bed may be something to others, and I know it is, But to me, Its something small, I used to be so concerned about a House and when is it gonna happen, or when will we ever get there, now, I could care less about a house and I'm just happy with a Bed. In all reality, We didn't NEED a king size bed. It was a want, But I look at it as a loan from God for being so attentive to Prayer for others.

I have to say that, I really do love this little guy I'm praying for. In some ways he reminds me of my little man. that may be apart of why I feel so attached, But in my Heart, I just want healing for him. a chance to run around and play like 16 month old little boys should! After all, Who could resist to pray for this little guy? :)


The new owners of our bed came and picked it up last night, So We get to sleep on and AWESOME pallet my hubby made up for us for a few days, Until the Mattress's and Bed make it to our home!

I really hope that none of you think I was doing this all to get a 'bed' I honestly could have cared less about any of it. To be honest, when we sold our bedroom set, I was so happy, But I still could not even make myself be so excited to just sit and think about it all day, I still thought about Ty. All day long and Prayed for him and even went to bed that night as well crying and praying for him, Trying to figure out a way to Bless this Family. I have something, Well God has something in the works right now for his family, But I will blog about that later. So Check Back.

I love my Lord, I love my Family and am beyond blessed for what I have. The health of my children, myself and my husband. I know that God has BIG plans for Ty. I cant wait to see them Unfold!!!

God Bless,
Candace

Our Pile of things in the floor until the New dresser arrives!

Our Awesome pallet!!! :) Made by my husband! Haha!
I did think to myself today when I woke up, the good thing about not having a bed is you dont have to make one every morning! :) So the pallet has its perks I guess! :)