My Concerns

So, I have to say. This Week, well past like 2 or 3 weeks. I have had this struggles in my heart. I for some reason feel like i cant get Close to God as I really want to. I Have all these friends and family say how the admire my ways and how im so full of the spirit and such an encouraging friend. It all helps me so much. I love to hear the things like that. Who Wouldn't,, but After I hear all of it. its like Satan attacks ASAP and fills my mind with Unwanted thoughts. Just trying to make me see that I'm not really that Close to God, Well Im done with that.

A few months ago. I had this such a Great Friend. Some things started going down heel. I have not a clue what led up to all of it, but right then. i started asking my self, " What did I do to her to make her not want to talk to me anymore?" Day after day i cried over her and our used to be friendship. She has since then. not talked to me at all hardly ever. My Broken Heart is starting to heal its self from the Pain, I prayed over and over for her. Turns out she was having struggles in her marriage. Then i felt so Bad for being so concerned at why she would not talk to me. So i began to Pray even more and More and more. I tried many times to reach out to her and suggest ppl to talk to to get help. she wouldn't have it. That broke me even more. time after time, I started getting the feeling she thought i had betrayed her. In What Way,I have No idea. some things i told her were out of line bc i was so hurt. I just could not see how in the world we were so close and could have never been torn apart. she was there so much for my family, the Birth of My Son and so much more and all the sudden Gone over night. Well I have tried to reach out to her, but it hardly ever works,

Next Starting in December, It seemed like me and my husband were fighting all the time. Why, I dont know. its like we were falling apart, something I never ever want to happen. Hes so much of everything i want in a Man. Not only that, But I know we are meant to be, God Put us together in the most wonderful Way. We have two beautiful Children who we love so much. Hes is my best friend in the World other then God first and foremost. I love him so much. But in this month, Each day that went by got worse and worse. I could just see us falling apart day after day. I cried many times. He probably didn't Cry, but i know he was hurt also. Finally the week of Christmas, I was in the Bathroom getting ready and it was like God told me " Candace, Make this right, bc if you don't, you will both lose what you have worked so hard at!" I listened and went to where he was in the house and put my arms around him and began to cry and told him how much I love him and wanted us to work, I did not want a failed Marriage bc He was so much to me. He agreed, but then it lead to another Fight. I don't know how but that's where we ended up,. What was going on? I could not understand, First my Best Friend, Now my Husband, Whats Next? Ugg. the Heart ache i had was so hard, After more Fights and Tears, I left for the Couch one night and could not sleep. As I lay there sleeping i began to think, What have i done Wrong this whole time? I stopped fast and remembered what God told me! So i got up went back to bed to hear my wonderful Husband say, " Thank You for coming back to bed, I Love you and I could not sleep with out you hear with me" I cried so much and said I loved him as well. We both apologized and then sat there and just talked for hours in the night about how much we loved each other and what we were struggling with, All comes down to things that we both do that aggravate the other. Crazy Huh!!! To think, A whole Month of Fighting over something so small. We worked it out and have been Just Great Ever Since. I would not know what to do without him. I thank God everyday for a Man that loves me whole heartedly and would do anything for me. and not only that, but he loves the Lord.

So after all this. Im on Facebook one day and to my surprise I see My used to be Best Friend pop up on Chat. Hum, I think, Shes not been on here in so long. so i said hello. WEll Hello turned into like a 30 minute Conversation. to my surprise she explained how she and her hubby were back together and so happy. It was like music to my ears. I was so happy. I had Prayed for them both so much. and Now God was there and putting back together the pieces to the puzzle. She and I both apologized for things that we had both said in the past few months. Got over that and were having a great conversation about God and His wonderful Ways in life.
I explained to her about a girls FB that i had been keeping up with and her status's and how God was really talking to me thru what she was posting. How at one time that girl had a bad Marriage and was so unhappy and how one night. My Best friend and I stayed outside of her work with her till 1am one night talking to her about God and his wonderful Ways in life. well. after that she went thru more hard times, but Now they are back together and just had there 3rd precious baby! I have been so happy for her. I sent her and in box and told her how happy it made me to read what she writes on her Wall. She messaged back and said if it were not for me and my friend that night. she would have not had the strength to turn to God for all the help. So at that very moment. it hit me. Why was me and My friend talking to her about her marriage and then My friends was falling apart and mine was headed that direction. well, I realized then, That God Put me and my friend in that Girls Path to minister to her and plant a seed because in the days to come we would both have our own struggles and thru what she writes He could speak to us. Once me and My friend figured that out. we were so excited.

I have not talked to her since that day, but Im sure shes doing well. I do miss her. but God May have pulled us apart in this time to lead us to others that need us. and for that Im thankful. at times i ask, Am i being heard? and that Day. God answered me. I love him for it.

As and Update. Corey and I have never been happier. Every day were helping each other do things that will make us happier. hes helping with things i had asked of him and im doing the same for him. Life is Wonderful!

I got a call from my sister last night and she was so excited about what God is doing in ones Life whom she adores. This lady she tells me about is just wonderful. its like where ever she goes. she touches Peoples lives. and She does. Every story My sister has told me about her is just AMAZING. But even thow she tells me all these things. I got so excited, but then again, I was wondering Why is it Im not that Close to God? So I sit back when i get done talking to her and think about the things in my life I really need to work harder on. so many things. As many Christians strive to be more like our heavenly father. I miss things like that often. I can think of times where I prayed for them to happened and claimed them in the holy spirit and it all happened, So i know Im capable, I just cant seem to understand what the Wall is i have put up for some reason. I love my heavenly Father and I cant wait to see What he has planned for us this year. Hes already Helped, Me and My wonderful Husband, My Sister everyday, a good friend and her marriage and is working wonderful things in this Sweet lil ol lady's life, whom my sister and I adore so much, well her relationship with God.

So as i have written all of this. I'm going to start Praying more, Day in and Day out. Try to speak more to my kids about Jesus, read them bedtime stories and teach scripture. I know God has Such Great Plans for us. and on the Road We travel every day, IM ready to make the turn he wants us to go towards. So Prayers are appreciated so much. God Will know what your praying for.