Gods Most Precious Gifts

So I must say. Since the day I became Pregnant with my sweet daughter, I remember thinking to myself, "Wow, I'm about to be mommy" "What am I supposed to do" "this baby will depend on me for the rest of their life" All of that seems like it was just yesterday. I remember looking at her for the first time After she was born and thinking wow, When i had those thoughts when i found out i was pregnant, they were all suddenly gone and then all i could think of was, How Much i wanted to hold her, hug her, kiss her sweet tiny face, tell her how much mommy loved her and was so glad she was here. but I couldn't do any of those. After she was born to us at 29 weeks at such a surprise. She was rushed to Baptist NICU in Little Rock why I was stuck in White County Hospital In searcy about an hour away. I had the hardest time. Crying to my mom like a baby every night telling her how much I felt like I would not bond w her since i had not seen her and that she would not know me. It was so hard. Bringing her home a month later was the happiest moment of my life. Knowing, all that she had been thru she was now here for her daddy and I to have forever. That all seemed Just a day ago. Now, 3 years and 9 months later. I sit here on my couch with my " EVER SO SASSY DAUGHTER " and my Almost 5 Month old Son, Camp. It amazes me the Blessings God has Given me in such a little time. sure 3 years and 9 months seems so long to some ppl, but when a new life is given to you and you see that it has already grown in that time. and then you look at your 5 month old, the thoughts in your mind are so good yet so sad. to know that she was once that size, age and so tiny. and now you have this new baby that you love just as much and to know that one day he to will be 3 years and 9 months old. IT makes my heart break. I Love my kids so much. but remembering how Calleigh used to be able to try and pick up toys and try to roll over as Camp does and now she is standing in front of me playing with her Gold Fish on the Coffee Table asking me If i would Like some Chocolate Milk or some Cake. then Make Believing and making it all for me so I can see what it is she has made for me. I love it. But now I wake up to " Mommy, Can I be a Princess " or " Can I go in the "Livingwoom" and watch Cartoons?" Now all I can do is remember how she used to be as Camp and Cry bc she wanted to be held or it was bottle time. But all that is no longer a part of her.

My Sweet Little Boy, Camp, Who I love just as much as my Calleigh Jo. Is so different then Calleigh. With Calleigh it took so long for her to reach her Milestones bc of her being Pre Term. So When We found out we were pregnant with Camp. I told my self. "I'm Going to really enjoy him as a baby bc i see how fast hey grow up now. Well When he was born. I had a completely different Experience then With Calleigh. Yes he was 4 weeks early, but God Blessed us in so much. That Pregnancy was so hard, due to bed rest, or Pre term labor, or many other things. However. I kept my focus on What God would do for me and let me get further this time around. Well, My Lord Provided and At 36 weeks. We welcomed our adorable Son Into the family. It was such a special moment bc I had my closest friends and family with me. My wonderful Husband was by my side, My Mom, My Best Friend in the World, Ginger, My Sister, Elecia, and My Sister In Law Leah. They were all there supporting me, to Push, Keep going, Your doing great, Taking pictures, Video Taping and then Walla, A New Born Baby Boy, Weighing in at 6lbs 11oz and 20 1/2 inches Long. they were all there, But once I laid eyes on him, Its like they all disappeared. Once again. I was in Love so much with some one so Small. Becoming a Mom is so Unexplained until you lay on eyes on what you have felt inside of you for so long. someone you struggled to keep in as long as you could. and When God Lays his hands on your belly and tells that sweet baby to snuggle up a bit longer you realize your so blessed. Then to see Your sweet Little Girl Who was always your baby become the Big Sister, Watching her Look at her Baby Brother and saying, "Mommy, He came out of your Belly." Its the sweetest thing in the World to see Such little People love each other so much. To see Camp look at his big sister once she talked because he recognized her voice. When We Brought Him home, I remember staring at him all hours of the night during AM feedings saying, " Please Don't every Grow up." All bc I knew how fast it would go by. Now, He will be 5 Months Old on Sunday the 22nd and I am so happy to have the best two kids anyone could ever have.

I guess I have said all of this to say, How much it bothers me to know there are so many women out there that think they are not ready to hold a sweet innocent baby in there arms, to see a great smile on there face every time you walk in the room, to yell Mommy or Dada for the first time ever and having that feeling of being needed and loved in a way you never have before. To sit on your couch with this little Life sitting in your lap as you touch and feel their tiny fingers and toes. noticing how soft they are, hearing their sweet breath on your chest as they lie there sleeping, watching their little mouths as they Yawn, seeing how when someone holds them and they aren't comfortable, knowing that all you need to do is wrap them in your arms and them knowing, they are so at place with you holding them, snuggling them in a blanket and putting a passy in their tiny mouth rocking them back and forth just to see there little eyes close because they know they are with their mommy and are safe. Kinda how I feel with my Savior, Knowing He is always the one I can turn to, the one I can call my Father and he will always love me no matter what I do. Babies are such a Blessing, and If you are one that Becomes Pregnant before Marriage, or from any situation imaginable. Know that someone So much Higher Picked You out of everyone To bless you with such a Gift. and that If you give that Gift a Chance to live, Breath, Play, love, ect. You will be so blessed in return to have the best baby in your eyes ever. It hurts to see the ones say I'm not ready and then have an abortion, or whatever. Even if you don't have an abortion, Adoption is another way, To know that yeah, you may have messed up, but why take it out on an innocent baby? When you can bless a Family that has tried so long to make a life together and has never been able to.

I love My children. I know that day is coming when My Sweet baby girl that I once Cried so much for, Prayed so much for bc she was only 3lbs 7oz and 16 inches long needed to make it thru a bottle feeding to come home and now will sit and eat however much she can hold and wants to play dress up every day, will one day, Say Thank You Mom and Dad, and then throw her hat in the air to celebrate her Graduation. To know that day will come when My Son Who loves his Momma So much will play the tough guy and no longer want me to hug him or kiss him before he goes off to school. All that is on the way, And as much as it breaks my heart to think of any of it. I get to sit and say, I had The Blessing and Best Gift Ever that anyone could have and so many throw it away. Thank You God for Picking such a Cute, Sassy, Smart little Girl that we named Calleigh to be our Daughter, Thank You for Picking such a Snuggle Bug, Handsome, Mommas Boy to be our Son Who we named Camp. We are so Thankful You gave us the Blessings of Life. To Trust us in Raising them to live for you, To raise them and teach them Guidance in Life. Thank You.